Listing my Enemies

In today’s time I can't imagine any country more uncivilized than China. She has always been so uncouth and unpredictable. At one time as school students we were used to shout slogan coined by Pt Nehru, ‘hindi chini bhai bhai’ and China broke that trust by attacking us unprovoked. Then we would be happy seeing the B&W pictures of a chinky guys hugging and pumping Panditji’s right hand. Panditji had convinced entire country that how good our friendship with China was. The attack must have sent Pt Nehru in a state of shock. His face must have fallen badly and his image of a statesman taken a huge beating. I used to sit near my Philips radio and hear the news of how deep Chinese army had invaded inside the Indian Territory. I had no idea how far that was, but I would be very scared when chinky men in Khaki shot at me in my dreams.
I would be depressed hearing the voice of Lothika Ratnam on All India Radio, ‘Indian soldiers have lost yet another post to the surging Chinese army.’ And get a little happy if any of those posts were won back next week.
Recently during the Olympic Torch’s Indian chapter, I heard a new Chinese version of that war. A Chinese foreign affairs person said that India had instigated us by accumulating troupes along the boarder way back in 1961. So now it means that I started that war! China is sitting on thousands of square kilometers of my land and tells me that I started the war. If I started then I should be on her land not the other way round.
Then Chinese violence inside Tibet also had upset me very badly. And this is the time I decided to take revenge on that fat brag of a country for hurting those peaceful monks. Khaki Chinkies had grabbed the land and now wanted to change the life style of the only entirely spiritual land in the world.
China and Burma are the countries who do not reveal anything to either its own people or to outsiders. Everyone there is living in darkness and no one knows where their country is headed. Now at least China is doing very well financially and all its principles of socialism and communism are getting gradually buried under the mountains of money. They have never handled this kind of money, ever. That is why they can not control their tongue and attitude. They are also not used to speaking to press, because saying anything goes on record for keeps sake. They have always been hiding a million things for a single revelation.
The only time the common man enjoys is when they celebrate birthdays of their ex-leaders, like Zhou Enlai, Mao Zedong and now Hu Jintao. Here too they are forced to enjoy by dancing and singing to the party’s tunes.
Well I have been very upset with China’s current attitude, especially since I met Dalai Lama in Mcleodganj. I came to know many horror stories of Chinese army action in Tibet.
So, finally I decided that I was not going sit and watch all this injustice for ever. I started planning how to punish both these bad pennies, China and Myanmar. I thought about asking some one to give me a few long range missiles to attack deep into their region. I made stickers to paste on them with messages like, ‘This is for saying I started the 1961 war’, ‘This is for killing the Tibetan monks’, ‘This is for calling Arunachal Pradesh a disputed territory’, ‘This is for pushing cheap goods in Indian land’… I had decided to hide those missiles on my terrace until I had written more such messages. But much before the missile deal could come through one of my friends managed to throw a huge wind bomb, Nargis on Myanmar on May 6, 2008. But since Nargis was delivered from some other terrace I could not put my messages that were kept ready for it, ‘This is for the military junta for keeping Aung San Suu Kyi in prison for so many years’, ‘This is for not allowing democratic elections in the nation’, ‘This is for keeping Buddhist monks and press under constant suppression’ and finally ‘This is for not allowing foreign donation reach the needy after I hit you with Nargis’.
From the TV news I came to know of a massive earth quake in China on May 12. All the TV news channels were showing the same ‘Breaking News’. An earth quake of 7.9 power. There was a huge loss to property and life, although I am very sorry for those school kids. But it can't be helped can it? I got a call from a friend of mine who was handling my missile program saying, he had delivered an underground weapon in Sichuan. Was it enough, he asked. It was fine, I said. China suffered huge losses in property, finances and also life. But I was sad for those 900 students though. I had achieved my motive of shaking them, but sending the messages across was very important too. How would they know why they both got hit and who has been wishing for it?
Finally this is a warning to you buddy to point your nuclear missiles in some other direction than India. It may leave you directionless and nose-less, suck all your money out sending you back to the nostalgic sweet days of communism for ever.

To Capital by Rajdhani

Arun is going to Delhi for his niece, Mishu’s wedding. He has been packing his bag since yesterday. In the morning he kept it on the bed and kept pushing toiletries as and when their use got over. He has decided to wear Indian clothes, like Kurta, Pajama and Dhoti for this wedding. His wife got one maroon Kurta, another one he borrowed from his son and rest he had. Arun thought, departure time of Rajdhani (4.40pm) was very convenient. You get enough time to pack, have lunch and leave the house when everyone is ready for a siesta.
He sat in a taxi just before 3pm to go to Mumbai Central. Other than his small bag he was carrying two gift packets, one from his family and another from a friend. But for these he might have travelled to Mumbai Central by local train. At 3.55pm he was at the station. His e-ticket was confirmed; but he had no idea about the seat. There was a huge crowd hovering around the reservation charts. It was a difficult task, as he had to take care of his 3 baggages and try to find his name. There! Without too much trouble he saw it, B2/72. He sent an SMS in Hindi to his brother Satish, ‘B2 dibbe ka aagman 9 baje hoga.’
Leisurely he walked down to the compartment, placed his bags on top berth. He felt the comfort of air-conditioning. Mumbai had become quite hot, he thought. He was taking so much trouble to reach an even hotter place- Delhi. A dog passed in the passage. It was very unusual, but Arun shrugged it off. Behind the dog, 2 cops were in toe. Now it was all normal. Sniffer dog got off the coach and went into the next one. Arun, kept his camera ready. When it came out again, he clicked his pictures. It was a fawn Labrador.
All the seats were not taken. There were 4 people for 8 seats. In front of Arun sat a young boy. Long hair, MP3 player, earphones and a cell phone that rang every now and then, ‘yeah mom, I am on my seat. No it is comfortable. I spoke to papa’. ‘haae, yeah man! Just imagine going to Delhi all alone. I hate it. Can you imagine I will reach tomorrow at 8.30 in the morning? So many hours in this train! I have never done it. Ok dude, bye. You take care.’ ‘Yeah mom they gave snacks and cold drink. OK I will call, when I get there.’ ‘OK papa, which uncle is coming to get me? Fine, but I could go by myself. Ok, I will wait for him.’
Arun surveyed the surrounding further. An oldish retired looking man by a window and an oldish woman in blue Saree opposite him. Woman makes a call. ‘Haan main Rajdhani mein baith gayi hoon. Kal 10 baje pahunchoongi. Station par jaroor aajana. Theek hai bhaiya? Didi kaisi hain? Theek hai kaat rahi hoon.’ A waiter approaches, ‘veg/non veg?’ Old man says, ‘non-veg. continental.’ Arun is surprised, ‘continental?’ Is he mad? May be he is an ex-army types. He thinks he is in his officer’s mess. Arun tells the waiter, ‘Dinner veg., breakfast non-veg.’ Mr. Continental asks the waiter, ‘Dilli kab pahunchegi?’ ‘8.30’, waiter said. Woman in blue is worked up. She calls her brother again, ‘haan didi, train 8.30 baje panhuchegi. Bhaiya ko keh dena station par jaroor aaye. Theek hai haan, 10 baje nahin 8.30 baje.’ She takes fished out a cone of Menhdi, sits comfortably and starts putting Menhdi on her left hand. The train is shaking a lot, so her crude design is getting uglier. Whenever she looks at her hand, Arun finds her smiling. Old man has taken out a book and is reading. He does not seem to be interested in making any friends. He doesn’t even want to have a conversation. Arun wears his glasses and steals a look at the title of the book. It is a P G Wodehouse. Oh, so old man has got some literary taste.
Train is at Surat at 7pm. Old woman dusts off the dried Menhdi, takes out another cone and starts decorating her right hand with the left. This is worse. Wrong hand, moving train and shoddy patterns, all point in the same direction- ‘ugly designs’. Young boy was trying to look at Arun from the corner of his eyes, because Arun was doing the most weird thing, writing! He was doing so in fits and starts. Boy noticed Arun’s paper seemed have run out. He is using the back of his e-ticket print out.
Conductor starts supplying beddings to all. Arun has forgotten to bring soap. Luckily a small packet of paper soap is supplied to all. Old woman is sleeping. Her palm is turned upwards to dry the Menhdi. Boy is listening to music. His head hangs low. His hair has covered his face. Mr. Continental PG Wodehouse is still reading. Arun is watches everyone and after a few moments, starts writing. Train has left Surat.
Dinner is being served. Arun is waiting to see the surprise that is stored in food tray of Mr. Continental. He is opening a paper bag. He is going to blow his fuse at the sight of Continental Parathas. But no. These are toasts! Other cases have boiled chicken with peas, baked potatoes, curds… Arun is happy he did not make his feelings public. His head would be hanged in dead shame. Arun could not finish one of his two Parathas. He liked Arhar ki Dal that he ate with rice. He also liked the dessert. It was Lauki ka Halwa. Too sweet though. He leaves half of that too. Mr. Continental has cleaned up everything in his tray systematically, of course with knife and fork. He keeps his tray down, picks up his worn out bag and exits. Woman did not wash her hands before eating. Mr. Continental PG Wodehouse may be thinking, how dirty she is. She kept scraping the dry Menhdi right where she was sitting. Arun too keeps his tray down and goes to wash up.
Arun has picked up Midday, supplied by train staff. He reads cartoons and then glances at the ‘horoscope’. First sentence under his star, Libra is, ‘a long planned journey will materialize.’ He finds it spooky. He tears off that part and keeps in his pouch.
Someone on the other side mentions name of Bahadur Shah Zafar. This kicks memories of two Rafi songs in his mind, ‘lagta nahin hai dil mera’ and ‘na kisi ki aankh ka noor hoon.’ Arun hums both songs almost entirely to himself. He realized he can not sing well now. At 9.15 Rajdhani is at Baroda. It is only 4 min late. Arun does a few stretches on the platform to relax. Signal turns amber; he boards the train, but doesn’t want to go to his seat as yet. He strikes a conversation with attendant, ‘how do your duties rotate?’ ‘I go to Delhi, then return by the same train in evening and reach Mumbai at morning. Then I get 2 days off.’ ‘Where is your family?’ ‘In Mumbai only. We have railway quarters for us.’ Arun says, ‘that’s not bad. You get a lot of rest time for about 40 hours of work.’ Attendant agrees.
Passengers have started making their beds. Next stop will be Ratlam, which will come very late at night. Arun has kept Mishu’s gifts on his berth itself. He does not want to put them down. A large Gujarati family is making a lot of noise. The kids are screaming but no one is controlling them. Everyone is busy talking themselves. Arun is clearly getting upset. He shouts twice, ‘shut up’. No one heard him. He takes out his forecast and reads again. Last part says ‘you should acknowledge feelings that obstruct your spiritual and emotional growth.’ He thinks about it and feels better. Everyone is on the verge of dozing off. Kids are shouting softly now. Every one of them feels that saying those words before sleeping is most important.
Arun is back from the loo. Old woman goes to the loo. Young boy does not go the loo. Old man, Mr. Continental Wodehouse has been to the loo and is now in his Lungi. His worn out bag hangs above his head. Arun covers with the sheet. His fits his legs in the narrow space next to the gift boxes. He stares at the ceiling. Some lights go off. More lights go off. All lights go off…
Arun is turning in his bed often. It is dark. Train is fast and unobtrusive. It is doing its job well. Only one person is snoring. Surprisingly it happens to be the young boy. One more turn and Arun is seen getting down. He walks to the toilet like a drunk. It is nearly 5am. In another 3 &1/2 hours he will be in Delhi, he thinks. He wants to avoid a queue outside toilets, so he brushes his teeth, has a wash and comes back to his berth. It is 5.20am now. Lying on his berth, he looks at the large open window. He sees smoothly changing patterns of trees and rails on the other side of the window. He notices that exterior is soaked in a faint natural light. He seemed to be awed by the pre-dawn, soft, uniform, cool and peaceful light.
Mad ideas start entering Arun’s head. Or perhaps his head is generating them. He thinks about that he has been travelling with his legs facing the engine. That means his beard wouldn’t grow too much, as the speeding train will keep it pushed in, to some extent. Also his spinal disks would be a little relaxed by due to being pulled away rather than squeezed together. Also a lot of blood will go the head that may enhance intelligence. But if his head was on the same side as the engine then beard would have been longer due to being pulled out of his cheeks and his vertebrae would be worse off. Also perhaps he would be a shorter man when he gets off.
It was getting brighter by the minute. There is a bottle of water at the window. Arun watches the window behind the bottle and fleeting landscape behind the window. He takes out his camera and shoots a few videos of the action without actors. 6am bed tea. He refuses it; too early for him. 7am breakfast is being served. Even this is too early, he thinks. Old woman is again dusting dry Menhdi right near her. Mr. Continental is having his breakfast. Young boy is too tall for top berth. He eats up with only his head raised a little. Arun is not tall, so he sits tall and eats. Mr. Continental is back to Wodehouse. Young boy has gone to sleep again. Old woman straightens her legs on the berth and lifts her blue Saree above her knees. She looks up at Arun and turns towards the window and again does the same. She starts massaging her legs with some cream. With every movement of her hands on her knees she does ‘aah, aah’. She ‘aahs’ for a few minutes and then closes the cream bottle. Smell of eucalyptus oil is hanging in the air. She is looking at Menhdi on her hands and smiling. Arun is wondering, ‘perhaps she can not see too well. Good for her. She can at least appreciate the Menhdi she worked so hard to put.’
Rajdhani halted at New Delhi station right on time. Arun is carrying all his stuff by himself. He is softly refusing help from coolies. After a whole lot of in-activity, some exercise would be good for him; he thinks. Hundreds of thoughts that Arun thought about, have exited his head. They now exist only on small little pieces of paper; legible - perhaps to him only. His phone rings. Anil and Shyam are waiting outside the station for him.

Fluke Sixes

Many years back I hit a fluke sixer by applying for admission to the Film Institute of India and then taking up the ‘sound recording’ course. I was supposed to enjoy site seeing in Bombay and go back to my parents in UP. Nothing of the sort happened. I did not go home for 4 months. In coming 3 years I completed my education from there and as the only alternate, I joined the field of movies. Gradually smiling simple faces on film negative morphed into cunning digital images on video. All through I was able to rather, had to keep pace with the changing ways of making and handling cinema. Technical problems used to be visible to naked eyes then; now we cannot see what is happening inside a one inch card. We started calling cinema, 'media' or entertainment media… Ok, enough of preface. Let me come to the point. I might be on the verge of hitting one more fluke six.
Suddenly I thought of an email from Wisdom that had come to me more than a month back. It had a job offer at the National Institute of Design, Ahmedabad. Faculty in the field of 'Film and Video Communication'. I have a lot of respect for NID, mot people have. It would be a great place for me, especially at this age. I also thought I had a lot to offer to them and get some mental regeneration myself. Mentally, I decided to go for it… finding the mail. You know how easy it is to search your old emails on gmail. ‘G’ fundamentally is a search engine. They are best at sniffing out stuff. So I found the mail in a jiffy and noted the relevant info. And then sent them a short email showing my deep interest in the post of the faculty, they mentioned. Next day itself, I received their e-acknowledgement and the day after, a physical note arrived. My interview was fixed on Feb 25 at 4pm at the NID campus. Along came an application form. That’s nearly speed of light in communication, I thought. The form was a little too elaborate. I hate filling lengthy forms. So it was a few days’ struggle filling it. Luckily it had to be carried by me and not to be posted. Simultaneously I worked on booking my ticket to Ahmedabad. I realized I was serious about doing this. I booked myself on Shatabdi to go, but I could not get a timely return train. So, I did not mind shelling out a little extra dough on an air ticket. I enjoy pampering myself. Now I was set. My train was to leave at 6.25am and my return flight was at 7.40pm. Cool...
Weeks shrunk to days and days to hours. And as it happens every time, I was face to face with my date (her name, Feb 25). At 4.30am alarm on my cell phone went. I touched its face affectionately for being a help. Then slowly I stirred, woke up and then stood up. Folded my sheets. Arranged the cushions and went in the loo. I was out at 5.10am, in the train at 5.25am and at Mumbai Central at 5.50. Too early. 35 min to go. I carried my digital camera. In case NID doesn’t like me, I will have some memories at least. I took some pictures on the station. Checked out my name on the reservation chart. Was quite surprised at the fancy chair-car coach of Shatabdi. It had TV monitors for every seat. Very cool. Took pictures. First time I was seeing a ‘rail ka dibba’ looking like an airplane on international flight. Bravo Lalu.
Train rolled out on time from Mumbai Central and rolled in at Ahmedabad station at 1.45pm. Here too I had enough time at hand. Many taxi wallahs were after me, 'kahan jana hai, kahan jaan hai?' ‘Paldi ka kitna hoga’? ‘40 saab’. But I avoided them and kept walking away. I took some pics of the pink railway station. There was a steam engine outside the station, a show piece. Although it was my first time in Ahmedabad, I wanted to travel by city’s local bus to Paldi. It may be a little mad. May be... not little, quite mad.
People guided me to a nearby bus stop. After sun bathing for 10 min at the bus depot, I was in a bus to Paldi, to reach NID. Sat on a worn out seat in a standard rattler bus. Got off at Paldi museum stop before 3pm. It was a hot day. I had to take an auto for a distance of 250 meters.
I introduced myself to admin office staff and handed over my duly filled application form. Early, every time. Here too. May be I have too much time at hand in my life. So, I asked a happy looking lady her permission to just look around the campus and take some pics. She hesitatingly agreed. Clicking pics by unknown people may be discouraged. Actually I had already seen a very interesting object. There was a peacock roaming around in the passages like a street dog. I clicked him many times. Got some more pics of other part of the NID structures as well. At 4pm, I and three other applicants were made to sit outside the interview room. Everything was in place, including tea and water. I was shown in at 4.20pm. There were three faculty members seated on the other side of a large table...
They were very reasonable gentlemen. They thought that it would not be a great idea if I was to shift my base to this city from Mumbai. Here I will have to set up a house right from scratch. That would be a lot of extra expenses. So (they thought) it would be a good idea if I could join them as 'visiting faculty.' I found it reasonable, totally.
In less than 15 min we had done with each other. Back in the office, they paid a part of my travel expenses. Had not bargained for it.
At 5.35pm, I was in a speeding auto headed for the airport. The old man, driver was really mad. I don't know why, he drove like a maniac. I never told him that I was late for my flight. Due to his reckless driving, I reached the airport too, way early. The airport building is under construction. It is an international airport. It will look very nice once it is ready.
After check-in, my achievements for the day were over. I was feeling mentally light and kind of content. Got a cup of coffee to celebrate that cool feeling. Then grabbed a cheese sandwich to celebrate my hunger. Home at 10pm.
I had been worried about missing shooting of my only TV show at hand. But again as it happens every time, nothing of that sort happened. Sometime I feel, 'life is so monotonous and boring; nothing ever seems to be going wrong.'